THE DALIA LAMA ON COMPASSION
Jerry Clausen
August 13, 2006
Our mission statement at First UU starts “Building community
with compassion, service, diversity, and spirit. We express compassion through caring, love, and support for
others.” Compassion was placed as a
first priority by those who built the mission statement.
One of the Dalai Lama’s main themes is compassion. Two of his best loved books on the subject
are The Compassionate Life and An
Open Heart. Since all religions
“advocate love, compassion, and forgiveness”
we need to be specific. The
Dalai Lama states, “In Buddhism compassion is defined as the wish that all
beings be free from suffering” - - the wish that all beings be free from
suffering.
Now that we know what compassion is, how do we get
there? The Dalai Lama says, “Our
commitment to liberating ourselves from this mire of cyclical existence must
happen before true compassion is possible.”
“Fundamentally the basis on which you can build a sense of caring for
others is a capacity to love yourself…and once you recognize this love in
relation to yourself, then you can extend it to other sentient beings.” This is much like the Christian “Love thy
neighbor as thyself”. As M. Scott Peck
says in The Road Less Traveled and Beyond, “we must deal with ourselves
and our families first.”
The Dalai Lama says that the next step is to acknowledge
dissatisfaction with the now. It is
very similar to the first step of Alcoholics Anonymous, which says, “that our
lives had become unmanageable.” He
looks at the reverse side of the dissatisfied life, that is, the benefits of
the compassionate life to us. He
states, “These days I hardly find myself being irritated at all.” Personally, I agree with him on the lack of
irritation that can come with using compassion. The Dalai Lama states that we are social animals more like deer
than the tiger. He underlines many
times our interdependence and its key to our happiness. The Dalai Lama states, “I believe that our
life’s purpose is to be happy.” He points
out the scientific data that a doctor’s desire to give care – the placebo – is
in itself curative, as the mother’s desire to care for the child is necessary
for the child’s development. Compassion
is good for the physical as well as the mental health. Hate hurts the hater, whereas compassion is
good for the giver.
Once we know what compassion is, have a strong motivation
for it, we can patiently use the tool of meditation to draw closer. The Tibetan word “gom” means to meditate or
to familiarize on a chosen object so that our knowledge will grow. We can do this while driving, walking,
reading, or sitting. For those who do
not meditate formally, think rather of focusing your attention – others might
call it prayer, or being in quiet thought by oneself. You clear your thoughts of the responsibility of day to day life,
and focus on your spiritual inner life.
The main thrust in the beginning of meditation is to lessen
the power of negative emotions, such as anger, attachment, jealousy and
pride. The third of Buddha’s “Eight
Verses on the Training for the Mind” says
May I examine my mind in all actions
An soon as a negative state occurs,
Since it endangers myself and
others,
May I firmly face and avert it.
This means one should cultivate mindfulness right from the
beginning and stamp out negative thoughts as soon as they arise. The Dalai Lama feels that negative thoughts
eclipse the best part of the brain – rationality.
For those who find meditation and compassion very difficult,
there are several other ways of stamping out negative thoughts as soon as they
arise: (1) forgiving and remembering, (2)detach with love, and (3) let go and
let God.
When I was younger I
thought that to forgive and forget was a weak strategy – letting others off the
hook. I then learned that forgiving
allowed me to quit the painful resenting of people and made me stronger. On the other hand, I had to remember, that
is, not forget so that they did not hurt me again the same way. I practice forgiving in small ways everyday
while driving – each person who cuts me off gives me frequent practice. The other day a man ran a stop sign, and
almost hit the car. I forgave him, but
my wife said, “I don’t.”
Second, Al-Anon teaches detach with love. You love the person, but sometimes you must
detach from what they are doing or saying for your own sanity. For example, if they are using derogatory
language, you just let it go.
A third way of stamping out negative thoughts is Alcoholics
Anonymous’ “Let Go and Let God”. By that
they mean let go of the outcome, let go of the punishment, let some Higher
Power – nature, history, consequences – deal with the person, not you. Let go of anger, attachment, jealousy,
pride, etc.
Back to our wok on compassion, according to the Dalai Lama
after we have acknowledged that life could be better, we must conceive of the
possibility of a human being who could attain total freedom from the negative
aspects of the mind – that would be the Buddha. It is like going to an AA meeting and seeing alcoholics who have
gained sobriety and serenity, laughing at the meeting, so that we know that it
can be done. Otherwise we might say, “I
don’t believe anybody can do it – it’s too hard.”
The Dalai Lama considers the real enemy is within. Indeed, the fifth of the “Eight Verses for
the Training of the Mind” says
Whenever others out of jealousy
Revile and treat me in other unjust
ways,
May I accept this defeat myself
And offer the victory to others.
To expand on this verse we listen to the Dalai Lama: “So if
we truly wish to learn, we should consider our enemies our own best
teachers!” Biographies of his life show
that he lives this way of life toward the Chinese, who invaded his country and
drove him into exile. He shows a calm
peacefulness toward the Chinese. This
is similar to the Christian “Love thine enemies”, but carries it even further
to as the fourth verse says, “Consider them precious”. Here is a real test of our abilities to deal
with negative emotions at once and have patience and compassion.
This path is walked calmly, patiently, with daily training
over time with the goal of total elimination of the negative emotions from the
mind. The Dalai Lama says that “Most of
the problems and suffering we experience, which is essentially our own making,
are ultimately created by these negative emotions.”
The next step in the path is to avoid the ten non-virtuous
qualities. The qualities we commit with
our bodies are killing, stealing, and sexual misconduct. Then there are the acts of speech: lying,
divisive, offensive, and senseless speech.
Non-virtuous acts of the mind are covetousness, malice, and stubbornly
clinging to a wrong view. These ethics
are similar to the Ten Commandments of the Jewish and Christian faiths.
Having limited our negative emotions using meditation and
eliminating our non-virtuous qualities, we can move forward from the method
aspects to the wisdom aspects of our path.
Through understanding, analysis, and critical perception we deepen our
understanding of impermanence and the suffering nature of existence.
As we become liberated from the suffering, we see that it
can only be truly done “if we wish to free others.” This is because, as the Dalai Lama says, “The world is
inextricably interconnected.” The Dalai
Lama said we need to “recognize how our fortune is really dependent upon the
cooperation and contribution of others.
Caring for others is the same principle as why Alcoholics Anonymous
never worked until Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob added the twelfth step of saving
others once they had been saved.
Because of the interdependent web of life, it would appear
that compassion is the lynchpin to our remembering the path out of
suffering. This is just as the
recovering alcoholic must turn back to the intense suffering of the newcomer to
help him through the first steps of AA.
Going back through the old pain and suffering with the newcomer reminds
all of us why we are working so hard on our daily calm, patient meditation to decrease
the negative emotions even for those of us far from the original intensity of
the suffering..
Philosopher Soren Kierkegaard said,” A man may perform
astonishing feats and comprehend a vast amount of knowledge, and yet have no
understanding of himself. But suffering
directs a man to look within. If he
succeeds, then there, within himself, is the beginning of his learning.”
The next step toward compassion is to put empathy –
closeness to others – concern for others in our meditation. Following that we focus on our own
suffering, and then expand that recognition to the suffering of others. We focus our thoughts on one person at a
time, and then extend the scope to more and more people.
Let us review our thoughts.
Compassion is a centerpiece of our mission statement. We wish to learn from a great teacher – the
Dalai Lama on a topic that he loves – compassion. In order to gain true compassion we must work on our own
enlightenment first, and then focus on others.
We must acknowledge dissatisfaction with the now and see the benefits of
compassion. We need to be aware that
the Buddha – a human being was able to accomplish liberation and compassion by
using meditation to lessen the power of negative emotions such as anger,
attachment, jealousy and pride. He did
this calmly, patiently, daily over time.
We need to avoid the ten non-virtuous qualities – Buddhist Ten
Commandments.
Next we recognize the critical importance of compassion to
furthering our enlightenment. Our
fortune is really dependent upon the cooperation and contribution of
others. As with the twelfth step of AA,
compassion is the lynchpin of true enlightenment. As we tune in to the intense suffering of others, we remember why
we must work so hard every day to further decrease negative emotions no matter
how far we get from the original suffering.
Once we are on the
path from our suffering we can truly focus on compassion. We focus on our suffering past and present
and then expand that recognition to the suffering of others. We focus our thoughts on one specific person
and then extend the scope to more people.
Compassion yields a great feeling of warmth, caring and connection. For those with difficulty with meditation,
there is forgiveness and remembering, detach with love, and let go and let God.
Opening Words
We come to this place of high purpose, a sanctuary which
touches all other sanctuaries of our past: a past both personal and collective,
whose faith and tradition we hold continually before us. Here we would deepen our knowledge of
ourselves, widen the horizon of our minds, touch one another with care, and
with love, and place ourselves before the mystery of life.
We come into this place of ever-new beginnings with a hope
in our hearts for renewal, with a hope living in the very wood and stone of
this room which offers to enter us as we enter this place. Here we would deepen our commitment
together, widen the compassion of our hearts, touch one another with warmth and
with hope, and place ourselves before the mystery which gives birth to it all.
Let us enter this time in this place together with a moment
of silence.
Daniel Budd - UUA Worship Web, 1997 UUMA Worship Materials Collection
Meditation
“Each Breath” by Leaf
Seligman - UUA Worship Web, Original
We pause in the stillness to rest for a moment to quiet
ourselves so that we can feel what stirs within us. Each breath draws us closer to the pulse of life, and with each
exhalation we make room for something new.
May we find in this gathering the comfort of those who care. May we encounter patience along our growing
edges and compassion in our most tender spots.
Here may we find the inspiration and encouragement we need to face our
challenges and nurture ourselves. And
in the presence of suffering across the globe may we redouble our efforts to
practice kindness where we are, with the hope that the light of our actions
travels like the light of far away stars.
May our gestures of compassion and generosity seed possibility. May we walk humbly with one another,
choosing reconciliation over resentment as we try to live right-sized. When life presses in and shifts us off
balance, when pain assails us, when frustration mounts, may the rhythm of our
breath steady us and bring us back to a place of gratitude.
