I would like to share my story of my journey from a healthy person and then at the age of 55, it seemed like my whole world changed. I was having lots of problems walking but of course don't we all make excuses so we don't have to visit the doctor. At first my husband told me it was because I didn't get enough exercise so we started walking together. I couldn't believe the change I could hardly make it around the track one time because of having to stop and get my breath. This did frighten me so I did go and see a family doctor. He took an EKG and then told me everything looked just fine. That I should just shed some pounds and stop smoking. So I did stop smoking now the shedding of pounds is taking a little longer. I am thankful that they think this is the cure to what is wrong with me.

          Then I notice that I am starting to walk with a limp and I can't get out of a chair that easily and decide to see another doctor. She gave me every kind of test you could imagine and at the end of the visit she gave me a clean bill of health. Of course she did say she was still concern with the leg problems and give her a call if I don't get any better. I still kept making excuses for a long time. Then finally one of my dear friends said she was going to call my doctor if I didn't. When I called my primary doctor she then sent me to a neurologist. More tests, but this one was very different sticking some kind of wires into my muscles, having to get a spinal so they could check my fluids. He told me he had to rule many things out first. On the third visit he said he couldn't do any thing else and wanted to send me to UAMS to a muscle specialist. I thought to myself my goodness what is going on.

          My husband and I go together to UAMS to see Dr. Stacy Rudnicki . Once again I had to get those electrical needles pushed into my muscles. The first time the nurse did it and then the doctor. I have to admit that wasn't one of my best experiences in my life. She told me some people just tell her stop and walk out of the office. I was stubborn had to find out what was wrong with me. At this time I knew it was important to find out what was wrong. So after all these tests were completed the doctor walked out of the room and said she would return.

          Jim and I were very concerned at this time just curious at what I had. I will never forget the date, January 4, 2005, was the day that Dr. Rudnicki came back into the room and told me I had ALS, better known as the Lou Gehrigs Disease and there was no cure and most people live three to five years. First thing that came to my mind was don't tell me I have only three to five years to live. I was in total shock. We didn't say much on the ride home and I was thinking how am I going to tell the people I love that I have ALS. I like making people happy not sad. The hardest part would be telling my Mother who at the time was just living here six months out of the year. Now she has made Arkansas her home, she sold her home and decided she wanted to be with me and help me. My only concern is that this is what she really wanted to do and then realized it was her wishes. I have to admit it's nice having her live near me.

          I made the mistake of getting on the computer and reading all the things that ALS will do to you. So of course I did have a breakdown and let all the tears come. I think it's a normal thing to do. You have different stages that I had to work on. First anger, denial, and then the reality that you do have this disease.           We can't change our destiny but we can put a smile on our face. I thank God each day for the things I still have. When one function gets weak, I have to say well there are still things I can do. Maybe not as quickly but I will do my best. I really take time to smell the roses. It's strange how I took so much for granted and then when you know you won't be capable of doing all the things you once could it truly is a wake up call. Each morning I can get out of bed and walk I thank God, for in time I will be in a wheelchair. I thank God for everyday that I can open my eyes and get out of bed.

          Then came my work issue, unfortunately I did have to leave my place of employment and get an early retirement and Social Security Disability. After working thirty- eight years this felt so strange. I know it was the correct decision because they had me working a four-day week and I was getting very tired.

          Now I have to focus on other things. My first thought was helping MDA. I was honored to work on the MDA telefon in answering the phones to collect money for all of the muscular diseases. I stayed all day. I met so many inspirational people and children that when I left that day I knew things would work out if I keep a positive outlook. Then we had another fund- raiser for Stride and Ride where I collected over three thousand dollars to help MDA. I was so thrilled to see everyone there working and smiling and helping others. People are so good when it comes to helping others. I plan on doing some volunteer work at MDA, hospitals and nursing homes on the days that I feel well. When living in Memphis before moving to Little Rock I would go to the nursing homes and read to people. To me that is what life is about. Helping others and doing for them. When I can make someone smile or help them this is what makes life beautiful. Our destiny we can't change but we can help others

          Some of my hobbies are reading, swimming, and riding horses when I was able. Also use to love to bowl. My husband and I also belong to the British Motoring Club of Arkansas. We often go for rides with them once a month and car shows. I love doing this. Most cars I can still get in and out of the ones I can't well there's always someone that will grab my arm and pull me out. Now that I can't do a few of these hobbies I will reach out to others more because there are so many people that just want to know they are loved.

Contact Cookie - COOKIEDD@aol.com