Me, Myself, and Ronnie
A comedy in two acts
by
William Allen
Males:
Robert Milgram: 60’s--A sexagenarian legend of the American theater, he’s
cantankerous, self-centered, and spoiled with a heart as big as his ego.
Hilary Stearns: 20’s—A
man struggling with a woman’s name, he’s a starving actor with a crush on
Lindsey.
David: 20’s--a handsome
hunk of an actor who becomes the victim of his own perfection.
Females:
Margaret Milgram: 50’s to 60’s—Robert’s wife, she is the balance that
keeps his psychoses in check.
Lindsey: 20’s—David’s
pert, young girlfriend who finally decides that perfection in a boyfriend is not
all it’s cracked up to be.
Set:
the stage and the greenroom of the Bethesda Repertory Theater
Synopsis:
It’s the night before
opening night at the Bethesda Repertory Theater, when a phone call from the
White House changes the tenor of this shoddy rehearsal. Robert Milgram’s old
buddy, President Ronnie Reagan, has invited the cast of Bethesda Rep’s
production of The Tempest to the White House for a command performance.
Attending the soirée will be some of
Saddled with the added
pressure of this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, their nerves become even more
frazzled so that even after Robert gets a lesson in respect from his caretaker
and wife, Margaret, they still want to tear at each other’s throats. As much
as Robert tries to make a rough rehearsal smooth, egos explode. Then, when
things couldn’t get much worse, the devastating news comes—the President’s
been shot.
At the beginning of the
second act, Robert is packing his bags. Hilary, his hired companion, inspires
him to stay, but only on the condition that they accomplish two things: perform
for the President and rid the cast of David so that Hilary can play the part of
Ferdinand and, consequently, get the girl named Lindsey. Robert’s devious mind
shifts into overdrive when he thinks of bizarre ways to sabotage David’s
tights.
After a foiled plot to
kidnap the President and a couple of foiled attempts to rid the cast of David, The
Tempest comes together for President Reagan. Robert learns a lesson in
tolerance for his fellow actors, and Hilary learns to stand up for himself.